I am recycling this from a "note" I wrote in FB...because someone recently mentioned that they had not seen me blog lately...and I am lazy.

So here ya go!

I just read this article
http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/motherhood-as-a-mission-field#.Tf9yBUxH_0w;facebook
posted by a friend of mind, and it made me think....

When I was raising my children...and even as recently as a couple of years ago... my mother was constantly reminding me that my children were my mission field. Not because I didn't love spending time with my kids, as a matter of fact I am one of the few moms I know that HATED when their children had to go back to school at the end of the summer! It was just that I always felt that what I was doing wasn't IMPORTANT as what OTHERS might me doing. So my mother would occasionally remind me that raising my children was the MOST important thing I could do...at least during that particular season of my life.

BUT, the importance of my mission field never REALLY sank in until my children were older and began to tell me, in their own words, that I was fairly good at being a mom.

One night we were watching a TV show and one character asked another, "What were you put on this earth to do?". And for whatever reason that question hit me like a ton of bricks. So, the next morning I asked my oldest, "What do YOU think I was put on this earth to do?" And she said, "You're a mom.", and I said, "THANKS A LOT!", and she says, "No, you're a mom. You are like THE mom. You could show young mothers how to be a mom." And it was then that I REALLY started to understand how important my job was.

Now, we have had a quite a few hurdles during the past few years that have made me SERIOUSLY question what kind of a mom I really was when my children were growing up. They grew up, started to make their OWN decisions and like the rest of us came to, or, are coming to understand that being a grown up isn't as easy as it looks. I am pretty sure they are beginning to really GET that our actions have some very serious consequences. As they have gone through this process God has had to constantly remind me that I am not responsible for their decisions. And let me tell you something, this is NOT an easy thing to accept and allow to grow in your spirit, especially when each hurdle seems to be a little bit higher.

ANYWAY...The past couple of years I was kind of excited that I could do almost anything I wanted to do because my children were pretty much grown. My time was my own...for the most part. I was spending more time in the word, journaling and writing. I took up gardening, learned to bake bread and purchased chickens feeling that these were important skills worthy of learning and passing on to my children and grandchildren. And I FINALLY came up with a handmade item I felt willing to "put on the market" after MANY years of being away from the arts and crafts business.

Then, late last summer, within a period of two weeks, I found out that my son had Type 1 diabetes...AND that I was going to be a grandmother...and I came to understand that in our particular circumstance my job as a mother would be a little more "hands on" than most mothers of 6 foot 4, seventeen year old sons and 21 year old pregnant daughters.

It has been a fairly hard year, and quiet honestly I don't see a whole lot of smooth sailing in the near future. The hand we have been dealt is someone "ongoing"....to say the least. And whereas the last two summers I was baking bread, tending gardens, canning jellies and raising chickens...this summer my gardens lay unplanted and I am once again spending my morning caring for a newborn while his mommy works oh so hard to support him.

If I stop to consider the "two steps back" I have taken, it can be quite overwhelming. And then I remember...every song I sing, every diaper I change, every load of baby clothes I wash, every bottle I give and ever prayer I say for and hug I give to our grandson... and our pretty much grown kids...is part of my mission field. And I am oh so thankful that my heavenly father chose to call me back to this particular kind of duty.

Thanks for the reminder Brittney! I will try to keep all of these things in mind the next time I try to write while jiggling a baby on my knee and having to stop three times to look out the window or find something else to make him happy! Maybe I will be back in the swing enough to get my gardens in NEXT spring! ;)

Twent-Five Years and Counting...

I know, I'm not writing. My updates are limited to quick posts and pics on Facebook in between jobs around the house. I posted on FB today, "Cheryl Pyle is going to mop,clean the fridge inside and out, unpack the rest of the baby's stuff, sew,make a roast and do whatever else can be crammed into one day. Spring cleaning + baby on the way = no rest for the weary!"

Actually, I only got the fridge cleaned and the roast made because I spent time watching TV with Kirsten and taking pics of the pets and Kirsten's ever expanding belly. BUT...the roast and potatoes were perfect, the pet pics are pretty cute, the inside of the fridge is BLINDING and... I might never have this kind of time with my oldest child ever again... because within a week or so she is going to be a mommy and I am going to be a grammy. So, I'm trying not to beat myself up too much. Kirsten has her weekly doctor's appointment and her last shift at work tomorrow so I will work twice as hard while she is out of the house.

Yesterday, after cleaning the stove, unpacking some of the baby's stuff, and visiting with some sweet friends who stopped by to "school" us on how to properly install the baby's carseat (because things have TOTALLY changed since our children were little!!)....I took the afternoon off and went to dinner and a movie with my wonderful husband. For, as of yesterday afternoon, we have been married for twenty-five years.

Twent-five years.

DO YOU HEAR ME??? TWENTY-FIVE YEARS!!

On March 22, 1986, on a chilly spring afternoon, under a large oak tree, surrounded by 150 of our closest friends and family...after misplacing our marriage license which delayed our ceremony by thirty minutes, which turned out to be a good thing because Jeff's parents had been stopped for speeding on the way to the church...and after several friends from our church had to stop the groundskeepers from unloading their lawnmowers due to a communication glitch...AND after having the groomsmen on alert because we had heard that Jeff's crazy ex-girlfriend was planning to crash our wedding and make a scene...the love of my life and I were wed.

The whole event was a home grown, family affair. My parents and my our first choir director sang, my pregnant best friend, my cousin and Jeff's sister where bridesmaids, Jeff's cousin was the ring bearer, my brother was one of his groomsmen, my former youth director and swimming teacher took the photographs, my aunts pressed our dresses and did my hair, my "other" mom baked our wedding cake, Jeff baked his own grooms cake, my mom made my dress, Jeff's mom made his tux, and Jeff's former youth director performed the ceremony and we spent our honeymoon in a seedy hotel in San Antonio and then camping in a two man pup tent. Our wedding cost less than a thousand dollars.

I look back now and realize what babies we were, how un-elegant our ceremony was, how BIG my hair was and how PINK everything was.

But you know what? All we wanted was to be married. And twenty-five years later we aren't any LESS married for lack an expensive, professionally co-ordinated wedding.

In some ways our whole wedding was a foreshadowing of things to come. Our lives have never been fancy, we've never had any money, and the best times we have ever had have been events where we were surrounded by our friends and family and everyone pitched in using their own special gifts and talents to make things memorable.

Thanks to all of you who made our wedding day special, to those of you who contributed to make our twenty-fifth anniversary special...and to all of you who have worked so hard to make the upcoming birth of our first grandchild special. We are blessed...even more so because SEVERAL of you have been on this whole crazy ride with us!! From dating, to wedding, to the births of OUR children to the birth of our fist grandchild...and all points in between. We could never have made it without you, your prayers and your love.

Blessing to all!! Maybe my next posting will be from the hospital while waiting for the Wee One to make his debute in the first scene of a TOTALLY new act in this dramedy we call....

Our lives.

Forever Thankful 2

I have decided to take a few "Notes" from my FaceBook page and "repeat" them here on my blog.

This one from June 2010. I think it is appropriate because this week was the birthday of the pastor I mentioned in this particular musing. Come to find out he has a blog too. His name is Dr. Vic Taylor and his blog,"Pulpitministries" is listed over there on the lower right hand side under "Blog Stalking".

There is an update at the end of this "Note".
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But God does not take away life; instead, he devises ways so that a banished person may not remain estranged from him. 2 Samuel 14:14

My friend Christie shared this scripture with her husband Mark last week...and HE was faithful and shared it as he taught us on Sunday morning...and as we read it together, on a clear spring morning, which had been set aside to honor our graduates...I was OVERWHELMED by it's meaning in MY life.

For me,as we read it together,I was once again a skinny, tangle haired, snaggle toothed filthy little kid who played outside CONSTANTLY. And my mother owned a grooming shop/boarding kennel..... into which one day a young pastor walked...and invited our family to church.

Think what you may....but I know in my heart that on that particular day....our Heavenly Father devised a way so that a WHOLE family of banished persons could not remain estranged from him.

There are some days that the knowledge of this fact fills my heart and mind to a point that it squishes tears right out of my eyes. Sunday was one...as I was reminded through God's world that what had happened on that day 30+ years ago was NOT mere coincidence.

Today was yet another.

As I watched a video of Connor eating watermelon with his Poppy. As I prepared for my best friends visit. As I gazed upon the baby pictures of our first choir director's grandchild, posted on FB by his daughter whom I babysat. As I read snippets about the floor a friend is laying. As I wait for updates from New Zealand, Ecuador, Africa and Mexico. As I drink in all of the wedding plans,baby news and pray for those who serve our country. As I agree with my "other mother" that her grandchild should change his profile pic. As I listen to my husband... whom I met at that young pastor's church...dig post holes with the tall skinny son we have been blessed with....

I am once again "laid low" by God's grace and mercy....and his love for a young hippie family. That he cared enough to lead a young pastor and his cocker spaniel into the business of a young pregnant woman who had cried out for a savior...not knowing what that meant...during the height of one of the largest evangelical movements I have ever witnessed.....

And by the "family" he has given me because he did not wish for me....a once skinny,now gray haired, still pretty filthy from "playing" outside,little kid at heart....to remain estranged from my Heavenly Father.

I love you all more that you could ever imagine.
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I like to go back to this note on occasion. It reminds me of the things for which I am truly thankful. I also like to do a mental "update" of the things that have happened SINCE the original writing. I do this with my journal too. It is AMAZING how quickly things change.

Since this was written in June...

My mother and I have both shared the testimony of how a devine encounter with a young pastor and his cocker spaniel changed our lives forever.

We found out we were going to be grandparents and my "other mom" made my new grandson a VERY CUTE blanket for when he gets here in March...thus reminding me that she has now loved FIVE generations of my family!!

Our former choir director has had yet ANOTHER grandchild...this one given to him by his daughter.

Our friends in New Zealand survived a major earthquake this week and it shot them RIGHT into full time ministry in a way unimaginable to most of us. Please check out THEIR blog, "The Cremisphere", also listed on the lower right hand side and give if you can. They really are doing good the work of God right in their own neighborhood!

We have a young friend who just purchased a ticket to Guatemala and so we will be praying for his mission experience down there!! We will also be praying for his family who have been a HUGE source of prayer and support for us during this time of "adjusting" to being new grandparents. His mother has held my hand many times during the past few months.

Let's not forget the 40 some odd people who gathered together last Saturday to bless my daughter, my grandson and our family as a whole. There have only a few times in our lives where we have been able to gaze across a crowded room and witness first hand the love of the family God has seen fit to give us. Their generosity during her baby shower was overwhelming.

Oh...the Uncle and Aunt of young Connor...the beautiful tyke eating watermelon in the video, which prompted my original post in June...well they have have also shown our beautiful daughter and The Wee One acts of kindness beyond our ability to repay. From THEIR blessings...they are blessing others.

And my parent's support; spiritually, physically, financially, emotionally,is beyond comprehension at times. The last time I said, "Thank You" to my mom, I literally prayed for someone to invent another term to express gratitude.

Anyway...the point is this....

In the eight months since writing my original post, I have been "laid low" time and time again by God's grace and mercy. That God should care for us... not only for our very SOULS, but for our day to day well being...and that he, in my darkest hours, chooses to remind me that he is indeed working in our lives through the actions of those he has seen fit to allow us to live life with...

Well...as ironic as it may seem to most of you...I have no words to express what his actions means to me.

A long way to go....but I'll get by with a little help from my friend.

One month to go until I get to hold my grandson. Four and a half weeks. Thirty-Two days.

We have come so far since learning of his impending arrival. We have painted and moved our middle child downstairs to the basement. We have purchased some necessary baby items. We have given one HUGE baby shower with the help of my mother and MANY friends. My goofy husband FINALLY picked what name he wants to be called,and it is simply,Grandpa. AND...we have cried a million tears and said hundreds of prayers as God has prepared us for this GIANT change in our family.

BUT...we still have a LONG way to go,and a short time to get there. We have another room to paint this weekend, more furniture to move, curtains to hang,baby clothes and blankets to wash,carpets to be cleaned, things to sew, a dresser to paint, a crib to set up, another baby party to throw...and I am sure there will be hundreds upon hundreds more tears to be shed and dozens and dozens of prayers to be said.

These things NEED to be done, but he will come regardless. He will come in GOD'S timing...not mine. Truth be told if he were coming in MY timing we would have waited a few years. I can not WAIT to see him, I ALREADY love him more than words can say, but I am not sure if I am ready to be a grandmother. I am still pretty convinced that I have warped my own children in ways unimaginable.

I have been accused of being controlling by those who do not know me and do not CARE to know me. And I have been accused of sheltering my children by those who do. Controlling no. If you know anything about me you know I have no control over ANYTHING. SO I am not even going to argue that with you. Have I sheltered my children? HECK YEAH!! Did their father and I monitor what they watched on TV, what movies that viewed and what books they read? You're darn tootin'! Did we make our daughters wait until high school to wear makeup and insist that they leave the house fully clothed? Sure thing! Did we make them wait until they were older teenagers to even THINK about dating? You betcha! We sheltered them..and covered them with prayer...and tried to SHOW them the love of our Lord as best we could.

But we are NOT idiots. We understand that we live in a fallen world and that God gives us all free will. Our children have their own paths to follow and their own decisions to make. We can not control them any more than we can control the path of the wind (past blog reference).

And because we have no control...no say what so ever...we will be grandparents in roughly 32 days.

But here's the thing...we haven't had much control over ANYTHING in our adult lives!! We fell in love at a very young age and because being apart was almost impossible for the two of us...we got married. Because of this we had no money. So, we lived with my parents or in crappy apartments. After a while we THOUGHT we were following God's calling and gave up our jobs and our apartments to go live and work with troubled teens,only to have the place shut down. So we crawled back home to our family with almost nothing and within months we discovered that I was pregnant. And although GREATLY loved and most welcome...none of our three children were planned.

There have been a couple of things we have "controlled". My wonderful husband when back to school and graduated at the top of his class after discovering I was pregnant with our first. AND we left our home and family in Texas to give our children a better life here in Colorado. Two major decisions made with as as much "control" as humanly possible. That is about it!

Oh...and we had total free will when we decided to follow Christ. Regardless of what you believe about those who choose to follow Christ, this is NOT an easy decision. You do not fall into it. You do not choose it because your parents chose it. It is not an EASY choice. Everything is not springtime and sunshine and all of your problems do not go away if you choose to follow Christ.

Most of the time, if you make this decision to serve our Heavenly Father, you are ridiculed by your friends and family...if not completely shunned. You are held to a higher standard by those who HAVE no standards and then mocked when you stumble. AND we as believers are losing our rights as American citizens at an alarming rate. We can not voice our opinions about anything "controversial" without being branded as bigots, we can not bring our faith to public functions or to our government. And we are told over and over that we use our faith as a crutch.

You're darn right I use my faith as a crutch!! I am a crippled mess without my Lord. If he is willing to help me make it through this insane, unfair, uncontrollable life I FOR SURE am going to lean on him!!

We have a lot to do in the next few months, a lot of hurdles to jump and a lot of obstacles to overcome. We are once again being thrust into a situation we did not expect at a time which is not of our choosing. And we CAN NOT and WILL NOT get through this without God to lean on.

And sometimes, probably more times than we care to think about, he is going to carry us, and I am not a bit ashamed to admit it.

God Bless the Texans not born in Texas...

I love quotes. I hunt them down and save them to post on my Facebook page...or to use in those handmade cards I may one day get to make. As I was hunting this morning I came across a poem that made me a little melancholy.

Texas Child

Blessed is the child who is Texas Born,
Where the wind blows free
And the sun shines warm;
Where children grow up to be honest and true,
To believe in themselves and in what they can do.

Dew sprinkled mornings, star-studded nights,
Fields strewn with wild flowers, big-city lights,
Sand-dollar beaches, and Hill Country streams,
Wild western vistas as wide as your dreams.
It's all a part of the state you call home,
and a part of your heart, wherever you roam.

Tall tales 'round the campfire,
or on grandma's knee,
Rich with legends and heroes, a proud history.
So dear Texas child, just revel in glory -
Someday you'll write your own Texas story!

Don't get me wrong, I love living in Colorado. I love the mountains, and the snow, and the clear mountain rivers and the crystal blue sky, and the clean mountain air...and did you know that when the sun sets you really can see fire in the sky?!?!

But...I love the state where I was born as well. I love the beach, I love the history, I love the massive ancient oak trees, pecan trees, redbud trees and mimosa trees, I love the hill country, I love San Antonio,I love church suppers, I love that the grass just grows on it's own, I love cowboys, I love bluebonnets, I love the Texas Flag, I LOVE THE FOOD, I love that Texas was it's own country, I love lightening bugs, I love Texas pride and I love that GENERATIONS of my mother's family were born and raised there.

And I SERIOUSLY miss the welcoming spirit of Texas. I love you Colorado, and all who dwell therein...but you people have a lot to learn about hospitality and making people feel welcome!

As I read this poem this morning I almost cried when I realized that my grandson will be the first in MY line...in GENERATIONS... who will not be born on Texas soil...and this really, really scared me. I mean, my children were not raised in Texas, we came to Colorado when they were very young...but they ARE Texans. They may not remember all of the traditions, history,and quirks of being from Texas...but they ARE Texans.

My eldest has more Texas warmth and wide open spirit in her smile than a Texas sunrise. If raised in a different era she would have been the epitome of a true Southern Bell. My middle child is a Texas beauty born and bred just like her Great- Grandmother, Mary Evelyn Ward Phillips. Tall and thin, with a megawatt smile, don't you let her fool ya' ...cause she's got a kick like a mule! She will put you in your place faster than you can say, "Remember the Alamo!". She gets THAT from her grandmother. Her Yankee boyfriend better watch out! And my youngest...well that boy makes a Texas Mama proud. He embodies the hospitality, warmth,brains, compassion, ingenuity and kind spirit of the generations of Texas men who came before him, be they ranchers, farmers, rough necks,welders, telegraph operators or engineers in the oil industry. And man o' man does he loves his Mama! And that is the mark of a TRUE Texan...they DO love their Mamas!

So yeah, I'm a little concerned for my grandson! I guess in my list of things I pray for him every day I am just going to have to pray that God draw all of the generations of his Texas blood right to the surface. I will pray that he is hardworking, compassionate, inventive, hospitable and loving.....

Oh...WAIT!! Those are already on the "Attributes of a Godly Man" list I pray for him!! Well HECK...then I don't have anything to worry about now do I! ;)