I'm somewhat confused.....
After almost eleven months of preparing to move to WA....eleven months of packing, readying our home to sell, living on pins and needles for almost sixty showings, preparing our children to leave the only home they have ever known, saying goodbye to our friends AND spending MUCH of this past eleven months separated as a family....as a couple......
We are no longer going to move.
So that begs the question....What now?
Our decision to stay here is bitter sweet in a couple of ways. For one...we had spent eleven months planing a new life in WA....what our goals would be...what kind of church we would look for...and rejoicing in the fact that we would now get to be near my family. I was especially looking forward to FINALLY getting to spend time with my nieces and nephews... sharing my large collection of children's books, playing games and baking tons of cookies with them all.
Also, I had come to a sort of cross roads in my life...not quite knowing what I was to be about. My children were growing older, our small group no longer met in our home and it's members had started moving on with their lives. For three years, hosting a small group full of young people we love and adore had taken up MUCH of my time. Moving had SEEMED to be the answer to my prayers as to what I was supposed to be doing with my life.
So now...nearly a year later....a year of moving in one direction...a year of making plans....I am right back where I started. Or so it seems.
I AM thrilled to be staying in the house my family loves. I am very pleased that we won't be leaving our friends, that Kirsten can look at colleges near us, that Kaitlyn doesn't have to leave her High School and that Keaton will START High School with people he has known since elementary school.
AND...after a year of uncertainty and me and the children being separated from our ENTIRE family.....I am pretty sure we have a WHOLE NEW set of tools with which to move forward. There is not one member of our family, from Jeff to Keaton who is not more mature, more patient or more focused as to what is REALLY important in life....starting with family.
We have also learned how to care for our home better, to budget time and money more efficiently and that for the most part we are minimalist....seeing as how most of our belongings have been in the garage for almost a year and we have missed almost NOTHING except our books, my sewing stuff, our baking equipment and Kaitlyn's pair of custom made Converse high tops which we have been looking for since last fall.
I'm a little scared though. As a family we have quite a few decisions to make as to how we are going to move forward...and I personally have a totally clean slate to start with. I have nothing on my calendar, no long term plans, and still NO idea what I am supposed to be doing with my life.
All I have is this nagging thing in my spirit that tells me that I need to be USING the talents and giftings that God has given me and the desire to go back to the "basics".
A list of what I have to offer the "world" is almost NOTHING....so what am left with is a list of things to offer my family and the Kingdom of God.
So if you would...if you are so inclined...pray for me. Pray that I hear God's voice. That I am able to separate MY ideas from God's plan. And that the desires of my heart...
to use my talents as a wife and mother...
to serve Him...
to live simply...
that our home be a place of refuge and peace full of family and friends...
and that I can impact His Kingdom while learning and teaching my children and those whom God deems fit to bring into my life...to tread lightly and responsibly on this beautiful Earth that God has given us....
are brought forth to HIS fullness. Producing fruit which is useful for consumption...which is not ornamental....and which is not left to rot unused on the vine, limb or ground.
Last summer, because we were so very busy keeping this house ready to show, the cherries on my cherry trees and the apples on our apple tree sat unused, eaten by the birds, and left to rot on the ground. The waste just broke my heart. All I could think about was the fact that I had to keep my house clean when I could be making pies and learning how to make preserves.
I DO NOT want that to be what I am remembered for when I am gone.
After almost eleven months of preparing to move to WA....eleven months of packing, readying our home to sell, living on pins and needles for almost sixty showings, preparing our children to leave the only home they have ever known, saying goodbye to our friends AND spending MUCH of this past eleven months separated as a family....as a couple......
We are no longer going to move.
So that begs the question....What now?
Our decision to stay here is bitter sweet in a couple of ways. For one...we had spent eleven months planing a new life in WA....what our goals would be...what kind of church we would look for...and rejoicing in the fact that we would now get to be near my family. I was especially looking forward to FINALLY getting to spend time with my nieces and nephews... sharing my large collection of children's books, playing games and baking tons of cookies with them all.
Also, I had come to a sort of cross roads in my life...not quite knowing what I was to be about. My children were growing older, our small group no longer met in our home and it's members had started moving on with their lives. For three years, hosting a small group full of young people we love and adore had taken up MUCH of my time. Moving had SEEMED to be the answer to my prayers as to what I was supposed to be doing with my life.
So now...nearly a year later....a year of moving in one direction...a year of making plans....I am right back where I started. Or so it seems.
I AM thrilled to be staying in the house my family loves. I am very pleased that we won't be leaving our friends, that Kirsten can look at colleges near us, that Kaitlyn doesn't have to leave her High School and that Keaton will START High School with people he has known since elementary school.
AND...after a year of uncertainty and me and the children being separated from our ENTIRE family.....I am pretty sure we have a WHOLE NEW set of tools with which to move forward. There is not one member of our family, from Jeff to Keaton who is not more mature, more patient or more focused as to what is REALLY important in life....starting with family.
We have also learned how to care for our home better, to budget time and money more efficiently and that for the most part we are minimalist....seeing as how most of our belongings have been in the garage for almost a year and we have missed almost NOTHING except our books, my sewing stuff, our baking equipment and Kaitlyn's pair of custom made Converse high tops which we have been looking for since last fall.
I'm a little scared though. As a family we have quite a few decisions to make as to how we are going to move forward...and I personally have a totally clean slate to start with. I have nothing on my calendar, no long term plans, and still NO idea what I am supposed to be doing with my life.
All I have is this nagging thing in my spirit that tells me that I need to be USING the talents and giftings that God has given me and the desire to go back to the "basics".
A list of what I have to offer the "world" is almost NOTHING....so what am left with is a list of things to offer my family and the Kingdom of God.
So if you would...if you are so inclined...pray for me. Pray that I hear God's voice. That I am able to separate MY ideas from God's plan. And that the desires of my heart...
to use my talents as a wife and mother...
to serve Him...
to live simply...
that our home be a place of refuge and peace full of family and friends...
and that I can impact His Kingdom while learning and teaching my children and those whom God deems fit to bring into my life...to tread lightly and responsibly on this beautiful Earth that God has given us....
are brought forth to HIS fullness. Producing fruit which is useful for consumption...which is not ornamental....and which is not left to rot unused on the vine, limb or ground.
Last summer, because we were so very busy keeping this house ready to show, the cherries on my cherry trees and the apples on our apple tree sat unused, eaten by the birds, and left to rot on the ground. The waste just broke my heart. All I could think about was the fact that I had to keep my house clean when I could be making pies and learning how to make preserves.
I DO NOT want that to be what I am remembered for when I am gone.
