" I am's what I am's and that's all's that's I am's ".....

I am who God created me to be.

No, many times I do not live up to the potential of this creation. Heck, MOST OF THE TIME I do not live up to the potential of this creation. Why? Because I spend so much time beating myself up about how insignificant I am in the "grand scheme of things" that I get in the way and do not allow my creator to "use" his creation.

I was a child with no discernible imagination. I played with dolls, and with these dolls and the help of my two younger brothers, I then became a mommy, a teacher and occasionally a nurse. "See!" you say, "You did have an imagination!!". No...I did not. I was practicing. I was practicing to be a wife and a mother. I started with my dolls, and then when I was ten my mother was kind enough to provide me with A REAL BABY in the form of a much loved, often tormented, baby brother. With her supervision I then began my REAL training. From there I moved on to working in the church nursery, and summers spent working for Mother's Day out, and babysitting, there was a whole summer spent baby sitting for one family, and then after we were married I worked full time in the church nursery with my husband every Sunday up until right before our first child was born.

I was created to be a wife and a mother. And I am a damn good mother. NO...I am not a perfect mother. There are no PERFECT MOTHERS! There may be mothers with beautifully decorated,spotless homes,or mothers who do not suffer from migraines and chronic pain, or mothers who homeschool their children, or mothers who do not have to juggle to pay their bills every month, or mothers who spend hours a day praying for their children,or mothers who don't cry so much,or mothers who work full time so that their children can have everything they ever wanted,or mothers who nurse their children until they are three and never allow them to have sugar, or mothers who cook perfectly balanced meals every night for dinner, or mothers who cart their children all over creation to mommy and me and story time and cooking classes and play dates etc,etc, etc. But there are no perfect mothers.

My children are pretty much grown. Their father and I have raised them well. They KNOW there is a savior who can and will supply all of their needs as long as they turn to him. They KNOW right from wrong according to the scriptures and the laws of man. They KNOW to stay away from drugs and the dangers of drinking too much. They KNOW the importance of family. They KNOW what to look for in a good spouse. They KNOW how to take care of a home. They KNOW the importance of a menu and a shopping list.(And yes,they also know it is a pain in the butt because they hear me complain about doing it every couple of weeks.)They KNOW that they must pay their bills in order to keep a roof over their heads and the utilities on. When they leave our home they may EVEN know how to grow their own food and gather their own eggs. AND..in addition...they understand the comfort of a good book,the joy of watching movies as a family,the reward of hard work, the beauty of an occasional camping trip, the excitement of a few really great, over the top birthday parties, they might possibly have gained enough knowledge to judge art from crap and they TOTALLY appreciate the gift of rock and roll and the release that comes from dancing like a crazy person and singing at the top of your lungs.

NOW...how and if my children choose to take the knowledge of these things and apply them to THEIR lives...is between them and their creator. They have their OWN relationships with God, and their father and I can not walk behind them their entire lives and tell them what to do and clean up their messes. We can only instill in them a set of life skills combined with some common knowledge and an example of love for our Heavenly Father and those who enter our lives.

I am who God created me to be. I am significant in my insignificance. When I die I will not have dined with world leaders,or written the novel that changed a generation, or lived among the native tribes, or served as a missionary, or traveled the world or lead congregations. But...I will have used every skill that God has allowed me to hone from the time of my childhood in the service of my family and friends and the others we have managed to drag in off of the street.

Please, do not give me any crap about moving out of my comfort zone. If you believe that there is ANY comfort for a virtual hermit in the hosting of 20 odd people for dinner in a house with an entertainment area the size of a postage stamp...you would be SADLY MISTAKEN!!

BUT...there is joy!!! Because in the mundane, unimportant, day to day life of this insignificant woman created to be NOTHING LESS than a wife and a mother..there is peace in the knowledge that she does not have to move the world in order to bring about change in subtle yet very important ways.

I read and interesting article this morning I though I would share...
http://www.crosswalk.com/11641169/
Yeah...you are going to have to copy and past because I haven't figured out how to add a link in the body of my blog yet!

Blessings to all who have dared read the ramblings of an insignificant mother this very day!