The path of the wind...

Well...it's been almost two years since I last posted to this blog. Things in my life have changed quite a bit since then and I am not EVEN going to TRY to catch you up on the "goings on" of the past two years. If you are one of the four or five people who read my blog in the past, or if we are friends on Facebook, you already know ALL ABOUT the insanity which I call my life!

Which begs the question?.....

Why even begin blogging again?

The honest answer....

I'm not real sure yet. I just feel like it is time.

Where to begin, where to begin....

Oh...I know!! How about we begin at the beginning? The beginning of a new life that is...for you see, I am soon to be a grandmother.

SSSCCRRREEECCCHHHH!!!!!!

What?!? A grandmother!?! How the hell did that happen!?!?!

I'm not ready to be a grandmother! The timing is all wrong! I'm not the least bit prepared! My children are barely grown! There was no time to catch my breath! Things are a bit out of order here aren't they? There were supposed to be courtship and an engagement and wedding showers and A WEDDING for crying out loud!!

I GOT NONE OF THAT!!! I'VE BEEN ROBBED!! This isn't fair!!

The heading at the beginning of Ecclesiastes states, "EVERYTHING IS MEANINGLESS"...and then Solomon goes on to state over in over, in this rather short book in the Old Testament..and I am paraphrasing here, "Life ISN'T fair. There isn't really any justice here in the mortal realm. You get what you get. So get over it,quit whining,remember your creator,enjoy your spouse and your wine and work hard. Because in the end there is no working or planning or knowledge or wisdom. So make the best of what you've got!!"

And he says this,"As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God,
the Maker of all things."

Guess what? I don't get to be in control. It's as simple as that. I don't get to know the path of the wind. I do not get to know why things are the way they are and why some people get perfect little lives where everything goes according to plan with fairly tale endings.

I get to do my best with what I have,work hard,love the Lord my God with all of my heart and all of my soul and love my neighbor as myself. I get to love and enjoy my spouse and my children and my AMAZING grandson!! I get to stand beside my amazingly beautiful, talented, loving,oldest daughter and hold her hand, and make her lunches so that my baby boy grows healthy and strong and I get to help decorate his room when he gets here and I get to pray for him and lay hands on him and speak scripture over him and I get to do all of the things for my daughter that my mother did for me and her mother did for her. And I get to do all of this with the help of my crazy, sometimes out of order, always unpredictable family...with a little help and a LOT of prayers from our friends.

BUT...I can not do any of this if I hold on to the unreasonable belief that I can CONTROL everything. That I can FIX everything. That EVERYTHING is going to be perfect and in the order I think it is supposed to be in...or that I can do ANY of it without letting go of how I think things are supposed to be. Because I can not even KNOW the path of the wind...or the mind of God... and what he has planned for me...much less CONTROL it.

In my last posting on January 1, 2009 I wrote this, "I am not going to wax poetic,not going to give and highs and lows list, not going to whine and cry about what SHOULD have been last year...and not going to make any New Years resolutions.

This what I AM going to do...I'm going to try to move ahead in 2009 with the knowledge that things ARE going to change. Why...because they just do. It's all part of life. Kids grow up, jobs change, friends move on..and the world just keeps on spinning.

The trick is to plant your feet firmly on the ground, pick a spot to focus on...preferably the Lord...and try not to heave too much.
"
And two years later...as much as things have changed...what I wrote then is still the same. Don't ya just LOVE IT when your own words come back to bite ya on the tookus!